Last week I quit my job. It wasn’t really much of a job, nothing corporate or 9 to 5 I mean, just part time. I was an independent sales contractor, selling advertising. It was a freelance kind of thing. The company was wonderful, they were very good to me, and I am thankful for them. I’ve sold advertising in one form or another for more than 18 years. It’s just not fun (or profitable) for me anymore… it’s a great industry and has been very good to me over the years. But I am clearly done. I am finishing my last project and saying good bye to this chapter of my life. In the current economy it is much more time consuming than it used to be to sell the ads. It’s a great product but the problem is not the product, it’s the fear and the squeeze the economy is putting on the businesses. It became less and less profitable for me, to the point that I had to evaluate if it was worth the time I was putting into it. I decided it was actually costing me money, because it was keeping me from activities that I am passionate about; activities that I could pursue to build my own business as a Life Coach.
Coaches are in popular demand for the same reason that advertising is hard to sell, the current economic climate has shaken many people to their core. They are afraid of losing their job and have no work life balance because they are keeping longer hours at work, or they may have lost their job and are figuring out what they want to do next. Some have multiple degrees and hate their work but can’t see anything else they can do, others love their work and want to earn more. Of course some want to work on things besides work, like relationships or weight loss or other goals.
So there are lots of possibilities for getting business out there. But the quitting the job with out a full practice to back me up had me a bit shaken. It was clearly a chicken and egg scenario. I decided I had to jump and a net would appear as the zen saying goes. That is an easy enough intellectual decision. I didn’t count on the emotions it would bring up. Fear! Would I starve to death? It turned out to not be such a popular decision at home. Great! Now I’ll be divorced and I really will starve to death!
Suddenly I started feeling like money would be scarce. Being a coach, I have a coach, and it’s a good thing! She saw me heading into a panicked tailspin and gave me a call Friday morning with a coaching assignment.
The assignment was to get three dollars from three different people and then give the three dollars to three more different people. All must be strangers. My schedule was booked Friday and Monday so I had several days to dread this assignment and think about it and give it some energy. I also had concerns about where to do this, because after being “on the streets” selling advertising for almost 20 years, finding a place where I wouldn’t be running into people I know or who didn’t know me could be a challenge. I am not a mall person, so I figured that could be safe, especially at 11 am on a Tuesday morning, when I finally ran out of excuses to keep me from fulfilling my task.
When I first went into the mall my brain was racing. What would I say? What was my story going to be? The directions were very vague I wasn’t told what I could or couldn’t say. And I asked for clarification because I wanted to do it right. Which was my first insight… doing it right is very important to me. I am attached to that.
So my first impulse was to try lying. (Hey I’ve been in sales for almost 20 years, after all… cut me some slack here!) lol! I saw some pop machines and thought “well I’ll just ask for a dollar so I can get a soda.” I tried that with two people and they could not get away from me fast enough. Their reactions made me feel icky and very uncomfortable. It wouldn’t work anyways, I realized, because then I’d have to spend the money, but I needed to be able to give it away.
I was concerned that someone would call mall security on me and I would get thrown out of the mall. I contemplated that scenario for a while, playing in my head what that would look like, how I would feel, what I would do. I thought maybe I should change my venue… maybe the mall wasn’t such a good idea after all. But if I went to a local community like Birmingham or Farmington…I’d never pull it off, because I run into too many people I know. I finally decided that if in the worst case I was banned from 12 Oaks for life, which I thought was doubtful, it really wouldn’t impact me that much and I could live with it.
Time for plan b. But first my phone rang… I can not tell you how comforting it was for me to get a phone call in the midst of this. It was a temporary escape from the feelings of failure. Some one needed me and I felt comfort in that and important. It rang a second time and it was my mechanic discussing the car repairs I would be having done tomorrow and I actually felt empowered.
After fielding the two calls I got back to the business at hand. That is the business of feeling like a failure. I thought “What if I can’t do this?” I walked with that for a while. I decided I would not fail and started thinking of ways to improve my odds. Who do I have common ground with?
Moms with kids… off I went to the play area. As I stood by the wall on the out side of the play area I thought this was my best chance. If I couldn’t succeed here then I might not succeed. I also thought this was a good way to get picked up by mall security for suspicious behavior as a suspected pervert. I struck up a conversation with a mom as I was standing out side the perimeter of the play area and didn’t ask her for any money, it didn’t feel right. I kept surveying the area.
I thought this is it. This is my only chance, don’t screw it up. How can I improve my odds? Then I realized the “wall” was not a good thing to have between me and my target. It was like a desk. In almost 20 years of sales I learned you never want to sit with a desk between you and your prospect. I can’t tell you how many desks I’ve navigated my way around by sitting at the end or directly swinging my chair around to sit next to my client. So I went and stood at the entrance. On the way there I surveyed all the possibilities on the perimeter: people at tables eating, parents and kids leaving…
And that was my first attempt. Three moms with a hoard of kids. and they looked nice enough… like women I could be friends with. I decided to try honesty this time. “Hi I’m wondering if you can help me. I’m a life coach. and my coach gave me an assignment today … I explained the details. I thought they might do it… but one of them was very taken aback. She said, “Your coach sent you here to get money? Where does the money go? We already give to charity… do you have literature?” Was she listening to me at all? I had no literature but I did have business cards and I gave them each a card.
I said if you go to my website you’ll see a link to my blog. Go there later and you can read the blog post that I’m going to do on this experience. I thought one of them was going to reach into her purse and give me a dollar, but instead she was reaching for her zipper to totally and firmly shut her purse… and they walked off. As they left I said, so you can’t help me, then I guess? — oh boy I thought… mall security should be here any minute. Maybe not … we had made a connection, engaged in conversation. I don’t think they thought I was a threat. I think they thought I was someone misguided, to be pitied, perhaps. Then I just stood for a while and watched the kids. I noticed the different mom’s and dad’s and just waited, mentally regrouping. I was also being conscious of my body language, no crossed arms, stay open and look friendly, I thought to myself.
Two friendly looking moms were sitting to my right. I liked them because they seemed relaxed, not over protectively fussing over their kids. I figured I would just go over and talk to them. I approached the one closest to me and she said she’d love to help me, but she had no cash only credit cards… I could understand and relate to that… that is my usual situation! I told her that laughing! Her friend though said she would help if she had money and started digging in her purse. She wanted to know if it had to be dollar bills… would quarters be ok? I said quarters would be great… and she promptly handed me one dollar in quarters for each of them!
I gave them my business card, thanked them, and because I felt they might want to see what I did next I thought I’d give the first dollar away right away. So as I was walking to go sit down on the opposite side of the play area I stopped and offered a dollar to an Indian woman explaining that this was a project and I had to give a dollar away. She took it and thanked me. Then I sat down, very satisfied with myself. I was halfway through my project!
I sat for several minutes feeling good about what I had accomplished so far. I felt good that I had not given up. I marveled that this had not been as difficult as I first thought. I enjoyed my success! Mall security was still no where in sight and now I decided they weren’t going to be a factor in my experience. Two women were sitting to my right. I observed them for a bit and decided that I would approach them. I explained what I was doing and asked them for a dollar.
The older one explained that this was her daughter and they were having financial difficulties. The daughter had four children and her hubby was a Realtor. She wouldn’t be able to spare a dollar. They seemed like nice ladies. I said “Well I’ve already collected two dollars and given one away… I have one more to give and you can help me by taking it. I have to give it to someone and I would love to give it to you.” They would not take it. I again said, look I know it’s only a dollar… but really… I’m going to give it away! It might as well go to you! I would feel very good about that! “ The answer was still no.
We talked for a while about the economy, the weather, kids, all kinds of stuff. I gave them my cards and wished them well and moved on. I walked up to another mom and asked her for a dollar explaining what I was doing. Without hesitation she reached in her purse and gave it to me. I don’t even remember what she looked like right now… it was that fast and without much thought. I thanked her gave her my card and moved on.
Now I just had two dollars to give away. I thought that would be the easy part, but so far it wasn’t necessarily so. Then I approached a woman and asked her if she would take the dollar with my explanation, and she did. I found out she was a Doula and I told her I practice Reiki and we talked for a while and exchanged business cards. She was very nice and we found that we had similar interests.
I now had only one dollar left and I thought I’d like to give it to a mom sitting by the entrance. I had commented to her earlier that her daughter looked like a carbon copy of her. She had laughed and thanked me and said she didn’t see it. People always say the same thing about my daughter and I. She seemed like a nice person. Her little girl was beautiful and I wanted to give the mom money for her.
So I stopped and told her I had a dollar to give away and I wanted to give it to her. She thought this was a “pay it forward” thing and was already figuring out who she would give it to. I told her she could do anything she wanted with it. I looked at her daughter and back at her real quick and winked and said, “You might want to give it to someone real close to your heart even.” And she smiled and said her first thought was to give it to the little boys behind her… but now that I mentioned her daughter, that was exactly who she would give it to.
That concluded my task. I learned that although I can pretty much make friends with anyone anywhere once the money factor was added in it made the situation challenging for me. Yep, I have issues with money, no doubt about it. But the thing that impressed me the most was that when I honestly related to people whether they took the money or not we still made a connection and it was okay. I didn’t feel bad… and I had a very good chance of succeeding!
Success breeds success! Once I succeeded the first time there was no stopping me! I became more confident in what I was doing. It was a win-win for me. At one point I realized that what I was doing was networking and “cold calling.” I think I gave away a total of ten business cards to women who I made a connection with. So whether or not they gave or received money they now had my card in their hands and a story to go with it. Who knows where that will go!
I was finished in time to go home and journal my results and make the two o’clock appointment I had with the Title Agent from my BNI group. After I related the story to her she wanted to know if I would ever give this exercise to a client. Without hesitation I said yes. But I’d like to qualify that by saying as a coach I have alot of tools in my tool kit. It is not one size fits all. Any exercise or assignment I give to a client is designed to stretch them and raise their awareness. It would depend on who they were and what they needed to focus on.
My coach gave it to me because she knows me and she knew that for me interacting with people would not be traumatic… the trauma would be about the money, which is the point of the exercise.
What I learned about my relationship with money was that it doesn’t have to be difficult to get, and once I started getting it, I had fun. I enjoyed talking with the people, whether they gave money or not… and the more I enjoyed what I was doing the easier it was to succeed! Money after all is only energy. It flows naturally, if you let it!
I had fun doing this exercise. By the end I was having a great time! I may even repeat this exercise again… I think of it as “coaches’ cold calling”!
Tags: advertising sales, coaching, energy, fear, money, passion, pay it forward
My StumbleUpon Page
